


별과 황금의 핀 (Stars and Pins of Gold)

by funkylilwriter



Series: Summer of 2018 [6]
Category: ASTRO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, Blood, Fluff and Angst, Hurt, M/M, mermaid Jinwoo, mermaid au, prince of silla Moon Bin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-01
Updated: 2018-08-22
Packaged: 2019-06-20 06:49:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15528570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/funkylilwriter/pseuds/funkylilwriter
Summary: Bin had always loved the sea. He loved to watch waves crash against the shore... He could sit there and watch for hours.But in his happiness Bin had overlooked the slipperiness of the stone he was kneeling on. He stepped the wrong way and with a screech tumbled down a dark hole...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [beesprout](https://archiveofourown.org/users/beesprout/gifts).



> ACE LOVE HERE IT FINALLY IS! TOMORROW I'M SCANNING THE DRAWINGS AND YOU GOT THE WHOLE PACKAGE!  
> This is also for my dearest Fabi, but she doesn't have ao3 so here's a shout out instead <3
> 
> Anyways, cus y'all couldn't stop yelling about mermaid Jinwoo, and since I'm already a hoe for mythology and history I just put two AUs together. This is just me nerding out plus fluff plus angst here you go t a k e i t.

His mother had always told him not to go near the rocks. She warned him that if he stepped wrongly he’d slip and fall. She had done her best to scare him with stories about children who’d fallen and either died instantly or weren’t found for days.

But Bin had always loved the sea. He loved to watch waves crash against the shore and no story could keep him away from the ledge.

He was six and wasn’t allowed to go anywhere on his own. He had two nannies who were supposed to keep him out of trouble, but they could hardly keep up with him. It was a particularly windy day and the sea was restless. The crashing of the waves seemed like a call that Bin couldn’t ignore. He yanked his hand out of his nanny’s and sprinted down the path and towards the jagged rocks.

He was quite the skilled climber and he was small so he skipped over the rocks swiftly with his nannies shouting after him. Bin saw no danger in his actions. He was delighted, finally having broken free. He giggled as he leaned over the edge and beamed at the white foam that formed as waves crashed underneath him. He could sit there and watch for hours.

But in his happiness Bin had overlooked the slipperiness of the stone he was kneeling on. He stepped the wrong way and with a screech tumbled down a dark hole he hadn’t noticed. The world was a blur as he rolled down a pile of rocks and finally landed on an unexpectedly soft surface.

Powdery white sand had broken his fall. Bin sat up and looked around, finding himself in a small cave. It was illuminated by the blue shimmering light of the water before him. Aside from the sandy patch, everything around him was dripping stone and he saw no way out. The only exit was the way he’d came, a hole far above his head, so far that he barely saw sunlight coming through.

He could still hear the voices of his nannies, calling for help. _“The prince has fallen!”_

It wasn’t their fault but surely they’d be punished for Bin's foolishness.

Bin's soft silk robes were ripped and dusty, his palms and knees were scraped badly. He saw no way out and no one was coming to help. As his nannies' voices faded into the distance, panic overtook and he started weeping helplessly. He curled up on the sand, hugged his knees and cried.

Then out of nowhere, something struck him. It was a tiny, brief and sharp pain in his shoulder. Bin looked around and saw a pebble roll into the sand. He was shocked to realize that someone had thrown it at him.

Bin was the crown prince of Silla and his father’s beloved son. As such, no one was allowed to harm him. He was in no way weak, but he was the king's only son; naturally he was protective of Bin.

This pebble thrown at him was the most violence he’d ever experienced. Soon shock faded and Bin became very offended instead.

“Who goes there!?” He called as confidently as he could, although his voice was still a whimper.

A head popped out from behind one of the rocks.

His gaze was intense and his eyes were azure. His hair held the colour of the deep end. He was ghostly pale, almost transparent.

He was the scum who dared harm the crown prince.

”You struck me!” Bin squeaked.

“You woke me up!” The boy responded.

“But... But you mustn’t hurt me! You’ll get punished!”

The other boy peaked out more, pouting angrily. “Why?”

“Because I’m the prince!” Bin said, though he was confused. How didn’t the boy know it? Bin wore the Royal Crest on his chest.

“I am also a prince,” the other boy said.

Bin stomped his foot as his eyes filled with tears. He felt like his world would crumble. “ _No_ , you are _not_! I am the only prince, I have a little sister only!”

“I’m not talking about your kingdom,” the boy said. “I’m the prince of the sea.”

Bin started at him and he stared back at Bin. Ultimately Bin had no idea if that was some odd joke or the truth, and if it was the truth he didn’t know what it meant. Since he didn’t know how to reply, he curled up again and stayed quiet.

Then another pebble came.

“Stop it!” Bin snapped, tears now sliding down his cheeks.

“Get out of my cave!”

“I fell in, I can’t get out!” Bin shouted and started crying again.

The other boy sighed and swam out from behind the rock. “Hey, it’ll be alright...”

The moment Bin made out the shape he started screaming.

He wasn’t sure which creature it was; Bin had heard many tales from sailors coming from the Land of the Rising Sun, tales of sea dwelling creatures, demons, ghosts and other monsters. He’d heard so many stories that all the different creatures had mixed up in his mind and at the moment in his frightened state he couldn’t match one of the descriptions with what he was seeing.

The water was clear enough to see the seabed and the shape of the creature before Bin. He looked like a regular boy from waist up – although the paleness of his skin and the blue of his eyes was like nothing Bin had ever seen – but from waist down he had the tail of some heavenly fish, ones that fishermen always talked about an never brought home, ones that were beautifully depicted on scrolls but never seen.

Bin was still screaming and the other clasped his hands over his ears.

When he stopped, the boy threw him a frustrated glance. “What was that for!?”

Bin scrambled away, backing up into the rocks. Despite different myths being mixed in his mind and him not knowing which creature this was, Bin was sure that these were his last minutes of life. After he’d miraculously avoided plummeting to his death in the shallow water, he would surely be killed by this creature.

“You-you are going to give me a deadly kiss and suck out my soul and drag me to the depths of the ocean to devour my corpse,” Bin spoke in a squeaky, terrified voice.

The other looked quite repelled by the idea. “Gross. I eat fish,” he said, nose scrunched up in disgust.

Bin’s heart was still racing, his eyes were still wide with terror but his fear was slowly fading and turning into cautiousness. “You... You won’t kill me..?”

The boy shook his head. “But I can give you a kiss,” he added.

Bin cried and curled up.

“I will not suck out your soul,” the boy promised.

Bin stayed frozen for a little while and then, figuring that he truly had nothing to lose at that point, he hesitantly approached the water.

The boy also approached, dragging himself across the sand and leaving a linear trail behind him. Bin’s heart raced as he got closer, so much that he heard the beats in his ears.

When he was close enough, the blue haired boy pressed his lips to both Bin's knees, giving him small kisses. Bin wasn’t sure what he’d expected. His cuts didn’t magically disappear, but the stinging pain ceased momentarily. The boy also took Bin’s hands and pressed kisses to his palms so the pain there too disappeared.

“Thank you,” Bin mumbled.

“You’re welcome.”

Now that he wasn’t too busy saying goodbye to his life, Bin could actually pay attention to the boy’s unusual, inhuman beauty. His tail was elongated and held different colours from the deep blue like his hair to the green of shallow waters, as well as pink and purple near the end.

“I’m sorry I misjudged you,” Bin said, straightening up a little.

“It’s alright.” He paused. “My name is Jinwoo.”

“Moonbin...” Bin was not used to this. People either knew who he was or he was introduced with great honours. He hardly ever got to say his own name.

“Why’d you get scared of me at first?” Jinwoo asked, tilting his head.

Bin suddenly felt silly about his own fear. He flushed and said, “Because I’ve heard stories...”

Jinwoo smiled brightly. “Really? What kinds of stories?”

“All kinds of stories,” Bin mumbled.

Jinwoo dragged himself over to Bin and sat next to him. “How about you tell me these stories and I’ll tell you if they’re true or not.”

This sparked Bin’s curiosity. It was his chance to finally learn the truth.

They spent quite some time like this, Bin telling Jinwoo any myths he could remember and Jinwoo either laughing at their silliness, correcting them or confirming them. For some stories Bin had to say he was glad they were untrue. Most of the myths were quite terrifying.

Both Bin and Jinwoo were rather startled to hear voices above them. They were calling out for Bin.

“They’ve come to rescue me!” Bin exclaimed, relief washing over him.

Jinwoo gave him a tiny smile. “I suppose you want to go home... But you enjoyed my company, right?”

Bin looked at him, his gaze was gentle. “I did, really. But I do have to go.”

“Maybe I’ll see you again,” Jinwoo said.

“Maybe.”

Before hopping back into the water, Jinwoo leaned in and pecked Bin’s cheek.

 

As he was being rescued by a skilled climber from the village, Bin realized that the way up wasn’t as impossible as it had seemed from the bottom. He was shown where to hold, where to step and he was out in no time. He came out into the chaos that his fall had caused, everyone worrying and fussing over him. Was he hurt was the biggest concern, but afterwards he got scolded for his recklessness.

Bin went through it all in a daze. He apologized to his nannies and to his mother but the truth was that he was already planning to return to the cave, now that he knew the way out. He only had to do it secretly.

He made the getaway a week later. He’d snatched the chance when he wasn’t being looked at – although that was a rare occurrence – and he sprinted down towards the village.

He was careful when sliding down into the cave and he got hurt way less. Then he sat on the sand and quietly called out, “Jinwoo?”

He got no answer. Perhaps it had all been a dream. Maybe Jinwoo had been Bin’s way of coping with the stressful situation.

Bin sat in the sand a while longer, occasionally calling out the name. As there was still no answer he stood up to try and make his way out.

And then a pebble came his way.

He turned around to see a blue haired head poking out from behind a rock.

“You woke me up,” Jinwoo said.

Bin smiled in utter delight.

 

After that, Bin’s visits became much more frequent. In fact, talking to Jinwoo had become Bin’s favourite activity. They liked to talk about their different worlds.

Bin would tell Jinwoo about mountains, forests, flowers, the palace, towns, temples, gardens, birds, clouds; anything he could think of. He told him about books and scrolls, paper and wood, swords, armour and silk.

Jinwoo would tell Bin about all types of aquatic life, the caves he liked to visit, coral reefs, dolphins and sharks, what storms were like under the sea. He once described in detail the underwater path from Silla to the Land of the Rising Sun. Bin knew he would never see the path the way Jinwoo could, but he was more than happy to listen.

“Why don’t you come visit me at the royal beach?” Bin asked once. “I wouldn’t have to sneak out if we were to meet there and I’d be able to come more often.”

Jinwoo splashed around with his tail, tilting his head. “It’s an open space, nowhere to hide. I live in the deep end where the sun hardly reaches. When I come to the surface it hurts my eyes, so I stick around caves or I come out at night.”

Bin’s lips parted in an o shape of realization. “We could meet during the night,” he said.

As they had no way of sending messages to each other, they agreed that every other time they’d meet at the beach and they would both keep track of the schedule.

But even so, as Bin grew older he had less and less opportunities to escape and meet with Jinwoo. He was starting to take lessons in art, calligraphy, swordsmanship. He was studying law and battle strategy. His father had also started to invite him to gatherings and councils, to see what it would be like when he becomes king.

This displeased Jinwoo greatly. Bin had started to miss their meetings and even got mixed up when they’re supposed to meet at the cave and when at the beach.

 

He’d stumbled into the cave one day, winded and panting. At that point he had stopped having his hair cut, as was proper, and it now reached the middle of his back in graceful waves. He wore a golden pin at the top of his head, holding his hair in a tail. He was fifteen.

“I’m sorry!” He was saying, though still smiling brightly. “There was a meeting, it took longer than I’d expected—”

A wave washed over him, one created by the wrench of Jinwoo's tail He had also grown, he had become much stronger.

Bin stumbled backwards, coughing and spitting out sea water. His hair and silk robes were completely soaked and his eyes stung from the salt. When he managed to open them, he saw Jinwoo’s rather irritated expression.

“You aren’t mad, are you?” Bin asked quietly.

“No. Why would I be? You had to study history last week and the week before there was a tea ceremony. I’m not mad at all.”

Bin stepped towards the water but another wave came his way.

He coughed out the water and tried to find Jinwoo. He was gone, but water stirred where he’d hidden.

“I’m sorry!” Bin repeated, still gasping for air, both because of the previous running and the two waves. “JinJin, I’m sorry... You know I would love to sit with you all day. I would take you to the palace if I could. But I have responsibilities...”

“I don’t want to go to the palace, I only care about you!” Jinwoo’s voice came.

Bin sighed and sat on the sand. “That means the world to me. But I still have to—“

“What kind of a prince are you if you let others tell you what to do? All the time. You only do things to please others.”

Bin frowned. “That is the point of being a prince. And what do you do all day?”

“I wait for you,” Jinwoo said in a tiny voice. He may have still been furious with Bin or he’d gotten angry with himself for showing weakness, but in the next moment there was a splash and a swirl of colours swam across the bottom towards the underwater exit.

Jinwoo had told Bin about it, how there was a tunnel that lead out towards the sea. A few minutes under the water. Bin immediately stood up and discarded the heavy robes that would slow him down in the water. He left his golden pin as well.

He jumped into the water and tried to follow Jinwoo. Bin knew it was hopeless, he had hardly tried diving for longer periods of time before and Jinwoo was far too fast for any person to hope to follow, but he had to try.

He tried, but his lungs started to hurt not even halfway in. The exit was nowhere to be seen and it was quite dark in the tunnel. Bin hit a rock and in the panic that overtook, he made the mistake of breathing in. Water filled his lungs and in a matter of seconds he blacked out.

Bin regained consciousness, he didn’t know how much time after.

A shaky voice by him was calling his name.

“Bin, wake up. Please wake up..”

He tried to gasp for air but found that his lungs were still filled with water. He was thrown into a coughing fit; Bin rolled onto his side to cough up the water. It took a while but he finally took a breath and collapsed back onto the sand.

“Bin?”

A weak poke to his arm.

“Bin?”

His eyes opened and he found that he was back in the cave, with a pale and worried Jinwoo over him. His eyes were bloodshot and seeing as he lived in the sea, it had to be something else that had made it so. He was crying.

Bin didn’t say anything. He didn’t know what to say to possibly make anything better.

Jinwoo fell forward and buried his face in Bin’s neck. Bin held him while they both cried.

When they gathered themselves, they sat on the sand and leaned on each other.

“I have to learn to be a good king,” Bin was explaining. “I have to learn our history, our law and how to enforce those laws efficiently. I have to learn to wage wars—”

“Wars?” Jinwoo frowned. “Why would you purposely wage wars?”

“Well... To expand our territory,” Bin said.

“But why? Why can’t you stay where you are?”

Bin didn’t really know how to answer. Everyone from his dynasty had been a conqueror. Had they not been, Silla would have stayed a tiny southern kingdom.

“Every king makes the kingdom bigger.” It was the only response he could think of.

“Aren’t you happy with what you have?”

Bin stayed quiet for a long moment. “I don’t know. It’s just something we do.”

He thought about it a lot in the moment that followed. Bin would think of it for years to come.

“What about you? You are also a prince, you must have some duties of your own.”

“I watch over the sea,” Jinwoo said simply.

“What does that mean?”

Jinwoo started at the water before him and soon it started to get restless. Waves grew and splashed the stone walls. A tiny storm appeared in the cave right before Bin’s eyes.

When it settled, Jinwoo shrugged. “I decide what happens with it. I take care of water currents and tides. Things like that.”

As impressed by this answer as Bin was, he was also confused. “You... Don’t take care of your people?”

“They take care of themselves,” Jinwoo said. “And why do you have to? They aren’t your children.”

“It is said that the king is the father of the realm,” Bin mumbled. “But my father says that in reality a king has to stop people from doing bad things to each other.”

“Why would they do something bad out of the blue?”

“I don’t know,” Bin whispered.

“Isn’t waging a war doing bad things to someone else’s people?” Jinwoo kept asking.

“I guess so.”

 

They made up that night. Jinwoo offered understanding and Bin promised to be more persistent in sneaking out to see him.

And he kept his promise. Him and Jinwoo were able to become closer because Bin made sure to go see him as frequently as possible.

Jinwoo did his best to be tolerant of Bin’s responsibilities, but it was something they didn’t talk about. They’d agreed it was better that way.

They talked about everything else. Often, they talked about Bin’s art. Jinwoo demanded to see it and Bin was quite bashful about it. Sometimes they wrote poems together.

Jinwoo liked to take out Bin’s silver or gold pins and braid his hair, decorating it with various shells. Bin would have to undo it before going home, but he made sure to praise Jinwoo’s work and each time say that he wished he could wear his hair like that always.

Jinwoo also liked to wiggle in-between Bin’s legs and wrap his arms around his waist, then rest his chin on Bin’s chest. Like that they would talk for hours with Bin playing with Jinwoo’s hair. They often fell asleep together, Bin waking up in the morning and having to rush home after giving Jinwoo a kiss on the forehead.

They liked to swim together as well, but because of Bin’s incident when trying to follow Jinwoo out the cave, Jinwoo insisted he practiced holding his breath.

“I can take you out the cave faster,” Jinwoo had said. “But you need to be able to survive that long.”

If only to put Jinwoo at ease, Bin practiced until he could hold his breath long enough.

 

As Bin’s adulthood approached, it was getting harder and harder to keep up the consistency they’d managed to establish, but they were both persistent. It was also difficult during the winter, but they always managed in the end.

Days before Bin’s eighteenth birthday, Jinwoo had admitted that he had a gift for him.

“You have to be here when the sun sets on your birthday,” Jinwoo said. “You have to be here, I want to take you to a special place.”

Bin’s heart skipped a beat and he nodded, promising that he would be there. He knew it would be difficult as he would be required to attend various ceremonies, but Jinwoo promised to wait for him.

They couldn’t calm down their own racing hearts from anticipation, longing to see each other those few times before Bin’s birthday and restlessly waiting for that day.

But once again luck wasn’t on their side because the day that was their last meeting before Bin’s birthday there was a terrible storm. Bin had tried to get out nonetheless, even if Jinwoo didn’t show up he knew he had to go. But he was stopped at the door of his room.

_Are you crazy? You could get sick or worse. You aren’t going anywhere_.

Bin knew it was for his own good, but he felt like for the first time in his life everyone was against him. Usually he had everyone on his side, his family or their servants and guards, but now everyone was working together to keep him from what he had to do.

He kept thinking back to Jinwoo and how angry he had been when Bin had started showing up less frequently. Bin could hope for Jinwoo to understand because of their time spent together, but if he’d learned something about Jinwoo’s kind it was that they weren’t social creatures; you could even say they were selfish.

“I don’t care about everyone else. I only care about you.” Jinwoo said that often.

Bin expected Jinwoo to be angry again. Because he didn’t care about storms or royal responsibilities or wars or even the sky crumbling, were it to happen – he only cared about seeing Bin when they’d agreed to see each other.

The next day Bin ignored everything he had to do and ran for the shore. He’d stumbled into the empty cave and his heart dropped. It was completely empty, there were no traces of Jinwoo’s tail even.

Maybe he hadn’t come either. Or he’d left long ago.

But as he stood there, panting, he noticed another sound. Quiet sobs coming from Jinwoo’s usual hiding spot. Bin was torn between relief and worry as he climbed across the stone walls. He found Jinwoo curled up amongst the rocks where he usually slept.

Bin dropped beside him, heart sinking yet again.

“You’re hurt,” he said breathlessly.

Jinwoo was holding his arm, trembling as he curled up. He was lying in water mixed with blood, there was a large gash from his shoulder to his elbow.

“JinJin...”

“I swam through the storm,” he whispered, his back turned to Bin, “And you weren’t there.”

“I’m sorry,” Bin said, nearly losing his voice. He wanted to help Jinwoo with his wound because he knew how. He wanted at least to hold him, but Bin was afraid to get too close. “You know that if there was anything else I could have done to get to you, I would have.”

Bin held his breath, expecting the worst. Jinwoo would never hurt him, but he could leave forever. Bin wasn’t sure he would handle that.

But Jinwoo did no such thing. He turned over and curled himself into Bin’s side. And Bin could say that he was relieved because it seemed that Jinwoo finally trusted him. Some years ago he would have denied it.

_If you really wanted to see me you would have been here_.

But he said no such thing. He only clung onto Bin.

“Does it hurt?” He asked, carefully cradling Jinwoo’s head.

Jinwoo shook his head. “I was just scared. Whenever you don’t show up I’m afraid you’re gone forever.”

After Jinwoo had calmed down, they swam around the limited space they had in the cave, to let the water help heal the wound. But Jinwoo didn’t want to go far from Bin and kept clinging to him even in the water.

“You’ll be there for your birthday, right?” Jinwoo asked when they got tired and lay on the sand.

“Of course. I... I can’t let you down again. I’ll be there,” Bin promised.

Jinwoo nodded and wrapped his arms tighter around Bin’s torso. “I believe you’ll need a boat.”

Bin looked down at him in slight confusion. “Wh—“

“Just bring one,” Jinwoo cut him off.

Bin was still confused but decided to go with it.

The incident had taken their minds off of Bin’s birthday, so when the day came they both felt rather dizzy. Bin’s day was filled with celebration, while Jinwoo had the entire day to spend waiting for Bin to come to the beach.

It had taken a lot of planning, but Bin had managed to orchestrate an escape. A small rowboat would already be at the beach, after the last reception he would excuse himself to bed and instead flee to the beach.

There was no time to change, he left the heaviest of his formal clothing discarded on the sand.

Jinwoo popped up out of the dark, inky water with the brightest smile Bin had ever seen. He returned it.

“Happy birthday,” Jinwoo said, pulling himself up half into the tiny boat. It swayed and for a second Bin thought he’d fall out.

“Thank you,” he said when the boat had settled. “So you’re taking me somewhere?”

Jinwoo nodded, a self-satisfied smile never leaving his face. He flopped back into the water, splashing Bin in the process. He took the rope and told Bin to hold on.

Jinwoo disappeared under the water, becoming a blurry shadow of blue, pink and purple. Bin nearly fell back when the boat jolted. Bin was genuinely impressed by Jinwoo’s speed and strength; it was the fastest ride he’d been on.

Jinwoo took him to a small bay with a tiny secluded beach shielded by cedar trees. The moon was bright and high in the sky, reflecting in the water and making a silver trail from the horizon to the beach.

Bin was mesmerized, looking around and trying to take it all in. But the moment he laid his eyes on Jinwoo, the scenery was forgotten. Bin didn’t want to look at anything else.

Jinwoo was holding onto the boat to keep himself afloat. He was bouncing impatiently.

“You like it?”

Bin didn’t take his eyes off of Jinwoo. “I love it.” He leaned in, not even thinking about the danger of falling out. “Why did you take me here?”

Jinwoo was also leaning in. “It’s my favourite place... I have a lot of beautiful memories from here. It used to be my own, but I wanted to share it with you.”

“You gave me the best gift,” Bin said breathlessly.

The closer they got, the harder Bin’s heart pounded. He was suddenly hypersensitive, too aware of Jinwoo’s parted lips, the small breaths he drew, his lashes fluttering, his eyes dropping to Bin’s lips then up at his eyes. Jinwoo’s hand moving on top of Bin’s own, getting closer, closer...

It came all at once.

With both of their weight concentrated on one side of the boat, it easily flipped over. Bin’s breath was cut out and coldness came over him like a shock. He tried to find the surface, doing his best not to inhale in a panic.

Suddenly there was pressure around his waist and he felt himself being pulled through the water. Sooner than expected, he was able to breathe in. Jinwoo was beside him on the sand and they exchanged a look.

Realization of what had just happened hit them and they burst out laughing. Jinwoo’s laughter was light as the summer breeze, warm like the crackling of the fire on a cold night. Bin’s laughter died out as he focused on Jinwoo’s.

And as Jinwoo realized that he was being watched, he stopped laughing as well. “I... I did want us to go swimming, just not like this.” He was smiling hesitantly.

Bin nodded and slowly sat up. Jinwoo scooted closer and placed his hand on Bin’s shoulder to turn him around. Bin felt gentle hands weaving through his hair and instantly relaxed. He wanted more than anything to take Jinwoo’s hand, to press kisses to his knuckles and wrists, but this was just as good.

Jinwoo took his time braiding Bin’s hair – he’d discarded his silver pins back on the royal beach – so it was easier for Jinwoo.

When he was done, he snaked his arms around Bin’s waist and rested his head on Bin’s shoulder.

And Bin was finally able to rest his shaky hand on top of Jinwoo’s.

“Are we going to go swimming?” Bin asked dumbly.

“Not yet,” Jinwoo whispered.

Bin didn’t know why he was so impatient. He didn’t know why he couldn’t calm his racing heart, why he couldn’t sit still.

Or he knew, but didn’t want to acknowledge it.

Bin’s grip on Jinwoo’s hand tightened slightly, and he suddenly turned around to face Jinwoo.

“You owe me something,” Bin said with more confidence than he thought he had. Then again, mustering confidence out of nothing was what he had to know how to do, as a prince.

Jinwoo looked up through his lashes. His hand was still trapped in Bin’s. “I do? What do I owe you?”

Bin’s skin felt tingly, his heart dropped with the slowly withdrawing confidence. There was no room for words anymore. It was now or never – their previous experience had shown that waiting for too long led nowhere.

Bin may have been too hasty. Jinwoo’s first instinct was to move away and there was a brief moment of them both being unsure what to do next. Then Jinwoo realized what was going on and leaned back in, finally pressing his lips to Bin’s.

He wasn’t sure if it was true magic, but it felt that way.

It wasn’t evil and ancient like from the stories. It was warm, gentle and healing. They shared this moment, and it was theirs only.

Jinwoo started to tug on Bin’s sleeve. At first Bin wasn’t sure what for, but judging by Jinwoo’s impatient bouncing, Bin’s best guess was that he wanted to be picked up. With some wiggling involved, Jinwoo ended up on his stomach in the sand, in between Bin’s legs as he liked. Jinwoo had said that that was how he was most comfortable.

This was how they resumed the kiss. Jinwoo’s palms rested on Bin’s chest, Bin holding him around the waist.

Jinwoo was the one who pulled away and he immediately nuzzled Bin’s neck. “We can swim now,” he said, but he was making no effort to move off of Bin.

And he wasn’t complaining. Bin found himself no longer impatient. This proximity was exactly what he’d been lacking, he realized.

“JinJin, I love you.” It came out as a whisper, shaky with uncertainty, yet there was firm confidence in the meaning.

“I think I love you too.” It was the same whisper, with Jinwoo holding onto Bin tighter.

“You think,” Bin mumbled. He couldn’t say he was displeased. Hell, he was relieved, hearing that Jinwoo loved him back even if he was unsure of it. But he couldn’t help pointing out the hesitation, it made him unsettled.

“We aren’t social creatures, I’ve told you. I love the sea. I love the stars and the moon. I love this bay. I love you. I just... Don’t know if it’s the same way you love me.”

Bin felt his shoulders relax. He hadn’t even noticed his own tension. “It’s alright. It’s enough.”

They held each other, they listened to each other’s heartbeat to let the moment sink in. To share it, something that is only theirs.

After that they went swimming. They left behind any unwanted seriousness, they splashed around, raced, even though Bin could never compete with Jinwoo.

But they seemed unable to let go of each other. They searched for any excuse to take a hold of one another, to lock hands, press close or connect lips.

It was, without fail the most beautiful night of Bin’s life.

 

Neither of them found it difficult to find the time or to find the way to get to one another anymore. No storm, no lesson, no meeting could hold Bin back from returning to Jinwoo’s arms. Bin was often questioned by his younger sister, who was it that made him smile so brightly? Who was it that made him the sunshine of the palace, always in a light mood, always gentle and kind.

Bin gave no credit to Jinwoo for how he treated others, but he was definitely the reason Bin’s heart was so full he felt like it would burst. He was certainly one of the reasons Bin saw the world in brighter colours.

That’s why Bin never answered her question. He kept Jinwoo a secret, everything they shared he wanted to belong to them only. At times he wanted to share his joy, but he knew that Jinwoo liked it a secret also. It was his natural selfishness and perhaps he was influencing Bin with it.

One day, amidst his bliss, Bin’s father called for him. He attended the meeting and as he heard the news, he could only think about Jinwoo. He listened to the discussion while his throat tightened and burned with tears he couldn’t let fall. His father relied on him. Soldiers looked to him. He couldn’t say no. And all he thought about was Jinwoo.

He went to the cave that day with a heavy heart; knowing that he’d have to look at Jinwoo in the eyes and wipe the smile from his face.

Or maybe Jinwoo wouldn’t care. He wasn’t known to be very involved with the world above the sea.

Bin didn’t know which was worse.

He was trembling so badly he slipped and fell into the cave like he had years ago as a child. Jinwoo didn’t seem to notice the slip up. He popped out above the surface and opened his arms.

“I’d run to you, but I can’t!” He said happily. He always said that.

Bin tried to collect himself. He tried to apply to this situation everything he’d learned about poise. He straightened up, dusted himself off and smiled.

“Hello love.”

When Jinwoo embraced him, Bin didn’t let go so easily.

“You seem troubled,” Jinwoo said after letting go. It was an understatement, but perhaps he’d felt Bin’s shaking. Or the strength with which Bin held him gave him away.

Bin dug through the sand, searching for pebbles then throwing them into the water. “We need to talk.”

Unlike a human’s reaction, Jinwoo just nodded calmly and settled on his side next to Bin. Jinwoo propped his head up on his palm. “Alright, let’s talk.”

“There will be war.” Waiting for too long led nowhere. Bin knew this.

“Alright.”

Bin looked at Jinwoo who was much calmer about the news. Jinwoo’s eyes were steady, perhaps he didn’t understand. Bin was on the verge of tears.

“You don’t understand. I won’t be leading it, but I am old enough to follow. Father expects me to.”

Jinwoo’s gaze turned from calm to cold. “How long?”

“I-I don’t know—“

“Bin. There is nothing tying me to this place but you. You must know that.”

He felt his heart snap right then. It made tears well up in his eyes but none fell yet. “I know,” he whispered. “But I have to go.”

“You don’t have to! Are you the prince or not?”

“I—“ Bin took another breath. “Love, you still don’t understand. You are the prince of the sea and I am the prince of the people. If I don’t go I will be deemed unworthy by the people, by the army, by my father... I’m the only son. I’m the king’s only successor. I have to do these things... I can’t let the entire kingdom down.”

Jinwoo’s gaze was now poisonous. His tail was twitching, sending water ripples across the mostly smooth surface. “You choose them over me.”

“It’s not a choice—“

“You always have a choice!”

Bin closed his eyes. He could no longer meet the judgement in Jinwoo’s gaze. “No, I don’t. I don’t, I have so much on my shoulders I can’t just drop it all. You knew it JinJin, you knew I couldn’t stay here forever. You knew we live lives for a purpose.”

“You are deceiving yourself. Life has no meaning but to be lived and you people can’t accept that. These are nothing but silly attempts at giving life a deeper meaning.”

Bin wasn’t sure what to say to that. Jinwoo had opened his eyes to many truths, but at times it was better to be deceived. Because no matter the truth, in his little world, in this particular moment he still had responsibilities.

“You might be right, but that doesn’t erase what has to be done. I have to go because this is what is happening right now,” Bin spoke slowly.

“I don’t care about your petty mortal squabbles, I only care about you!” Jinwoo snapped. “I want you by my side and if you want me, you will stay!”

He didn’t think it possible, but Bin’s heart snapped again. He wondered, by the end of this conversation would there be anything left. “I can’t.”

Jinwoo jolted, there was a splash of water that soaked Bin and Jinwoo was gone from the sand. A purple, pink and blue shadow could be seen turning a lap around the small pool before appearing above the surface in the centre.

Bin stood up. “JinJin, I’ll be back...”

“You don’t know that,” he said quietly.

“I do. I will come back because I have to.”

Jinwoo shook his head, sending water drops back into the sea. “You don’t know that and you don’t know how long you will be gone. I do not want to lose you to something as insignificant as a war to spread territory.”

“What does it mean to you? What does a few years mean to you?” Bin whispered, yet his voice echoed.

Jinwoo splashed angrily. “ _Listen_! Nothing you do will matter a thousand years from now! Everything you do is pointless! The only thing that matters is living and making yourself happy! Making yourself feel alive!”

It was hard to see because his face was graced with water drops, but Jinwoo was crying. “Do I make you happy?”

“Yes,” Bin didn’t hesitate.

“Do you love me?”

“Yes.”

“Then don’t go!”

Soft sound of the dripping water echoed and counted their breaths, counted seconds. It was the only sound that could be heard for a while.

“I have to.” Barely a whisper, yet it echoed.

Jinwoo dived back into the water, sending one last wave Bin’s way. The last Bin saw of him was the glimpse of a shadow, disappearing through the underwater tunnel.

 

Bin had spent hours crying on his own. He had no idea how he had made it home. He kept coming back, sometimes at night he sat on the beach as well. He sat, hugging his knees like he had as a child and called for Jinwoo; sometimes quietly, shakily, sometimes he sobbed desperately into the emptiness.

He never saw Jinwoo again. Bin spent so many hours alone, repeating the memories that were left and he wondered if he was ever real at all.


	2. Alternate Ending

Bin had spent hours crying on his own. He had no idea how he had made it home.

But he knew there were more important things to worry about. There was a war to get ready for, one which Bin now hoped not to return from.

What was the point if Jinwoo hated him, if they were never going to see each other again?

His wishes were not granted, however, and a couple of years later Bin returned home, without his father.

“It should have been me,” he was saying a lot those days.

After returning home Bin hardly had the time to go anywhere on his own with the funeral and his coronation taking place one after the other.

But once he was crowned King, Bin abused his authority to justify isolating himself, taking walks on the beach, escaping down to the rocks where he’d fallen years ago.

He kept coming back to the cave, sometimes at night he sat on the beach as well. He sat, hugging his knees like he had as a child and called for Jinwoo; sometimes quietly, shakily, sometimes he sobbed desperately into the emptiness.

Bin spent so many hours alone, repeating the memories that were left and he wondered if he was ever real at all.

It was starting to become noticeable, the kind king everyone knew and loved was dearly missed. He was still kind, never rude or harsh, but he no longer radiated the happiness he once had. He hardly even smiled.

But whenever he was asked about it, he pushed the subject away. Everyone assumed the king was mourning the loss of his father and that he was too stressed by the newly acquired responsibilities.

This was true, but Bin was also starting to lose his grip on reality. Choosing to spend most of his time alone either in his study or taking walks by the sea, being distant even when he was executing duties that included other people, Bin was finding it difficult to tell apart what was real and what wasn’t.

Jinwoo appeared in his dreams, back in the cave or at the beach; they were happy. Jinwoo wasn’t angry with him, he wasn’t frowning or trying to drown Bin; they were close, they were together and they were happy.

And perhaps Bin wanted this to be his reality. Perhaps his delusion was his own fault.

He was starting to talk to himself. Not out where he could be walked in on, but always in private and the cave by the sea was the most private place for him.

He confessed, he spoke of things he would never dare to tell anyone else.

About Jinwoo. About their days together. About the most beautiful night in his life. About his fear of never loving again.

He often spoke as if Jinwoo was there, as if he was listening. Bin was telling his old friend about how he tried to make improvements in the tradition-heavy system his kingdom worked by. He was doing his best and this effort was the only thing keeping him sane.

Everything Jinwoo had told him about the world, Bin tried to apply to his own reign. He tried to make the changes that would matter a thousand years from now.

But no answer came.

Bin flinched when the water shifted, but it was always either a water drop from the ceiling or some lost sea creature.

And the loneliness was starting to press on Bin to the point where it was unbearable. He knew that if he allowed his heart to break he would never recover and his fear would come true – he would never love again. No one but Jinwoo, the product of his own lonely mind.

Bin could almost hear it. He was kneeling on the sand, facing the shimmering, gloomily blue water. He was clutching his chest, choking on his own sobs and he was no longer even trying to pull himself together.

He wanted to let himself break.

He wanted to die inside.

At least that way he could no longer feel the pain; he’d be numb.

He clutched at his chest, the fine silk bunching up in his fist and he felt it like a slice in his gut, like an arrow through the small of his back. It was an odd feeling, nowhere near his chest yet it was that of his heart breaking.

It was over. Bin could now die and he wouldn’t care. He reached for the golden pin of the royal crest on his chest, ripped it out and threw it into the water.

He curled up with his forehead in the sand, he sobbed loudly and let himself hurt all over. It would all be over soon.

Bin thought that something small and sharp struck his head but he paid no mind. He was too focused on his own pain to care.

And suddenly he flinched away, unfolding until he fell back against the sand, keeping his eyes closed.

He’d imagined it. He must have.

But the touch was still there, a hand on his arm, helping him up into a sitting position. Arms snaked around his form and Bin gave in, leaning into the body beside him, the wet hair and the cold skin. All too familiar, but was it real?

Hands cupped his cheeks and tilted his head up, but Bin still didn’t want to open his eyes. If he did, it would all disappear.

“I’m sorry. Love, I’m sorry. It’s my fault, I did this to you,” a soft voice whispered.

Bin shook his head and reached up, finding Jinwoo’s lips with shaky fingers. Then he leaned in for the kiss he needed so desperately.

It was as if inhaling the summer breeze, lungs filling with warmth to the point where he thought he’d explode. He was no longer numb, he _felt_ , he felt it all, Jinwoo gripping his arm, his free hand curling up in Bin’s hair, the rise and fall of his chest as he drew short breaths in between kisses, the fluttering of his lashes against Bin’s cheek, and the tears that fell.

Bin pulled away with his eyes still closed. “JinJin, are you crying?”

“No,” he said, voice cracking. “I’d never cry over a petty mortal.”

Bin smiled. He felt Jinwoo wrap his arms around his waist and bury his face in his neck. Bin felt Jinwoo’s body jolt with every pained sob that escaped him.

“I’m sorry,” he was whispering, Bin could feel the tremble of his vocal chords. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t swallow my pride, I’m sorry I didn’t come to you earlier. I’m sorry I left you to suffer. _I love you_ , I love you in that stupid way humans love and I felt it only when I left you. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m stupid and I’m sorry.”

Bin didn’t say anything. He wiped Jinwoo’s tears away, kissed his cheeks, brushed his hair out of his eyes and kissed him again.

When Jinwoo’s sobs quieted down, Bin dared open his eyes. Seeing him again was too overwhelming. Bin collapsed into Jinwoo’s arms and blacked out due to the exhaustion. Bin hadn’t slept for days and had just spent hours crying and screaming. No force in the world could keep him awake now.

 

He woke up with the images of the prettiest dream behind his eyelids. He woke up and felt an unfamiliar weight on his shoulder and arm. Bin stirred and opened his eyes only to meet the person from his dream right next to him.

“You’re here,” Bin whispered.

“I’m here.”

“You’re real.”

Jinwoo gently brushed Bin’s bottom lip with his thumb. “I’m real. I promise.”

“Don’t leave me again,” Bin said shakily.

“I won’t. I don’t think I’ll be able to handle it.” Jinwoo paused. “And... I don’t think I could live with knowing what it would do to you. I want you to be happy,” he added hesitantly.

Bin sighed, smiling and nodded. “Thank you, love. Please don’t leave. Please,” he mumbled.

Jinwoo nodded and pressed a kiss to Bin’s lips.


End file.
